I stood up on stage looking out at everyone in A trans. I have not seen a lot of my fellow rappers and the Baltimore Scene in a long time. Last time I seen them I was angry.. A open mic after my break-up. It was a alright performance. But prior to that the night before my life changed and who I was at that moment was about to change too. I will not waste no more time talking about this after this I say to myself but this had to get out. Im writing a book.. see an some below ..
Queen Of The Mic 2010 I was dumped after the show looking for support from my boyfriend of seven years hoping he would be there for me. Instead, I got the total opposite. He was angry that I bothered him at a party and felt I angered him so much that he had to leave the party. When we exchanged words over the phone and he told me to get over it, I went home angry, packing a bag to stay overnight ignoring him. We then started to fuss and go back and forth. I charged at him with frustration when he questioned what have I done for him lately. It was wrong. I was wrong. Apologies were said but he had made up his mind. He didn’t want to be in the relationship no more. He was “taird” of me. In disbelief I asked him was he sure. He was sure all right. I would not know till months later he had been sure for a long time and maybe he just pitched me the biggest favor ever. He was confused yet made up his mind I wasn’t the woman for him. So with that I fell into something of a depression and a determination never to be that stupid girl again. The one who never would hurt this man and put 100% into a man who just cheated on me and dragged me threw his confused ways all of our relationship. The lies and the risk involved dealing with someone like him I didn’t see until after the relationship. Sure it was good times but damn he did so much to me. I walked away from the mic and would spend countless hours in my room sleep. Waiting to go to work again. That’s all I looked forward to. My friends at the post office. When you cater to someone most of your life and never make time to have a life outside your significant other its hard to bounce back.
So I took the stage Aug. 18th with a determination to excel. To express my feelings like I need to when I write. This situation weighed on me for so long, that I can not be the carrier of someone else any longer. I am a good person and I put my all into something that was false. So getting on that stage showed me all that needs to matter is me right now and getting this music and school right.. Yes im writing a book… peep video for a look into how it will be promoted.
