Changes (My Life Update)

RANDOM UPDATE... sorry its been so long!
I saw social networks light up with surprise of my new skills and new interest. My friend Mark Carey spoke over the phone with such joy that I resorted to something creative to keep my mind off foolishness of a boy and his uncertainty of himself and my place in which I was erased from. Instead, I picked up a camera and decided to make some money. Just over two months ago, I was destroyed thinking of the past and how presently someone could treat me so wrong and replace me as if I was never there. But surprisingly I stepped up and decided to put that energy of worrying into a creative force which produced tremendous results. Its been over a year since he left and I got depressed, but with great fall come triumphant climbs to new heights… A Change… Changes?

I am scared of change, so I thought. I go to the same places and eat the something’s but urn for change. Strange? I want to be this woman I see inside my head.. Jinxxx! The alter ego that hits the stage with confidence and gets things done. Small changes has happened since my boyfriend of 8 years let me go but not as huge as my new found happiness in finding who I’m and what I want as a person. For to long despair and questions of my womanhood controlled me because of my x-boyfriend choosing to be with a man. I’m not going to lie it hurts like hell and ive come to the conclusion based on his actions that I was just there taking up space all this time. So as I battle past that, the sun shines with so much hope that I tend to worry less and less everyday about his existence and new found life. People never see how much they can hurt a person or make a person grow. Its funny…

So I’ve also got a new love in traveling and seeing the world. I don’t need no one to do that. As I save for my house and my ultimate independence I see things I truly never paid attention to. These are things in life which I should put more energy into. Not him.

I’ve done a book on my whole ordeal because it is more then meets the eye and more that I do not share. I hope to get it published and copyright. Its called “In Love With Bi”. My growth process is included in order to help some other woman conquer hardships and avoid the unnecessary drama.

Lavar “Conscious” Clark lifted me up ten feet high when he said he wanted to get his shoot done. Needless to say we haven’t spoke much in awhile because of little things but it seems he’s back to motivating me to do my music and do me as best as possible. Lavar is a friend who has been good to me for awhile. We had our differences but we always end up back in contact with our love of hip-hop. Inspired me to stay on my game and as we talk more I hope it gets stronger.

People wonder where photography came from. Well I look at the art of a person who started off so small and gained so much just by picking up a camera and was inspired. I been inspired since the first day he took my photos but with my clandestine ways I kept that love for his work inside. He’s brilliant, and brings out the art of his photos . He Is vigilant with every detail and determined to excel beyond the horizon. A lot of people know Wali work! Hats off to him and his art and determination.

My Family has been so patient with me and my dreams and goals. School and work has been a battle. Economic times all got everyone in a bind but I still receive support contently from my family. Consistent and for that I owe them to keep striving. HELL I owe myself. This blog has jumped around but whatever..

Trying to stay focus and whatever comes shall come.

People ask me do I need a man ?

I respond if a man shall come he shall be my friend first.

And best of all he shall respect me and love himself as much as I will grow to love him..

So to answer that NO I don’t need a man… indeed I want one. Lol but in time… When I spend time,
When he and I both have time
To create time
To love time and spend it understanding each other mind.
Lol answer your question?
Lol

This is a random OPEN update.. and it went here and there but It was on my mind…

A ball of things.. I just want to keep happy.. and I will… Positive sight equals a better light… better images… better everything…

And with that…. Peace!