Make Me Smile

I don't want to crack a smile.
I been through somethings...
But mama always say there is clear skies after a rain..
After my storm..
My tears had flood my sight..
The waves were big and so i lost sight..
But clear sailing ahead.. the breeze ease me..
And when i know you are around a smile comes so easy..
I see me.. Happy and beginning to breathe freely.
I toast to the heavens, how could i not see the blessings you feed me..?
The pieces fell apart but the recovery is on paste.
I gotta give love to you and all the time you put in to curve my face!
Make me smile, geek, laugh without no hesitate.
let this lead somewhere
let you stay apart of me.

Love Suicide...

What a beautiful world little girls and boys!
I’m sure things weren’t suppose to turn out the way it did. I’m so positive that my mind didn’t see the things as they lived. And as I should.. I walk away with the coldest feeling.
So exhausted of caring that I turned the other cheek
With so much on the table, I just was not able to accept friendship as our only destination
In this moment in time the only choices I have is to live without you in the current equation.
I can’t live like this..
depressed, compressed, in a bubble I express, in the sheets you undress, on your dick is climbing numbers and I can not be just a number…
I leave with only wonder, best wishes, tip my hat and give deuces.
Open my heart up every time but you just look at me like I’m stupid
While you dip and doodle, I remain chained to you getting brutal whip lashes
from the heartless branches you pass.. oh every time I just wish I could just laugh.
Gashed open heart and I’m just bleeding. The shit you do is so misleading, so believing, I EVEN thought for a second you loved me. Maybe it was not a front maybe it was something temporary in your mind
But i..
Want to love.
Have a family and build my trust up to give a fuck one day..
Some day, some how it a all be far for me and you.
One day I will be all I should been for me and you.
You and I.
Trapped into a love suicide.
But I boys and girls .. I’m the one who dies while he lives..
Mistakes were not 100% his..
What a wonderful world..
What a beautiful cold world..

Artist Jinxxx Speaks On 2010 & 2011 MEN and ADVICE

So Ive decided to do a video blog on what i been going threw and the changes and all wanta see how those work out.. check it out and tell me what u think via email or bottom of the page!! thank u! Just talking about men, my music and a lil advice to some of my ladies out there.

Better Run Run by KING HAMMER-- Jinxxx Thoughts

Everybody that knows me know that I am a hip-hop fan first before I was a artist. I came across the diss that HAMMER put out on Jay-Z and couldn't help but be mad. Hammer has been away from the game for a very long time. So what has sparked this beef or diss I shall say is it what Jay said in one of his songs..

"I lost 30 mil so I spent another 30.
'Cuz unlike Hammer 30 million can't hurt me

Or is it the fact Jay-Z name has come up millions of times when speaking about ties with the devil??
The video portrays that is the case.
But I'm mad because that is not a good way to attack the subject.
Well i could be wrong but don't try to make a comeback off a diss. Make a come back off of good music and records first. I'm not a big Jay-Z fan but I know he got skills. And he not going to pay attention to this video. Dont get me wrong Hammer had skills in his own time but this was not a good way to attack the subject of if an artist is into the devil.
These are my thoughts.
What are yours? comment below and say whatever u like. thanks for reading

Through Wit Ur Shit

I'm so through with you..
Life.. you seem to make fights
U seem to push the life outta my life
I don't understand how joy and hurt can come from you
i don't understand why i run from the truth
U are nothing good
Nothing that a ever be right
Ur broken in the dark wit a small flashlight
and I'm
just lost..
I'm just a cause for your sickness to get worst
I thought that i was helping at first
But this CANT work
this will not
i keep feeding myself pain when it can stop
God says their is room to forgive but he never said its room to stick around
Gut says its really time to exit now
I liked it better when u were inches away
Hours from my brain
Blocked and in a door
Ignored by my soul
Fueled by hate i let you go
but Love is a mothafucker that bitch can re-grow
planted seeds look at me.. it spouts in the snow
but I'm serious now
I'm ready to let go.
ready to believe in myself ready to know something new
Something that is true bright and stands out
Clean and glistens for me to wear when all weather out
Tears touch my cheeks... chic...
i wish to express smiles that march with fleets
that show on sleeves
that is confident with so much belief
I'm through with you. I locked the door blew up the room
No more mentions in conversations
No more wishing for different situations
No more as if u never existed
you never EXISTED
U WILL NOT EXIST
Be Gone.. I'm through with your shit

Im Writing A Book..And Peep my performance

I stood up on stage looking out at everyone in A trans. I have not seen a lot of my fellow rappers and the Baltimore Scene in a long time. Last time I seen them I was angry.. A open mic after my break-up. It was a alright performance. But prior to that the night before my life changed and who I was at that moment was about to change too. I will not waste no more time talking about this after this I say to myself but this had to get out. Im writing a book.. see an some below ..

Queen Of The Mic 2010 I was dumped after the show looking for support from my boyfriend of seven years hoping he would be there for me. Instead, I got the total opposite. He was angry that I bothered him at a party and felt I angered him so much that he had to leave the party. When we exchanged words over the phone and he told me to get over it, I went home angry, packing a bag to stay overnight ignoring him. We then started to fuss and go back and forth. I charged at him with frustration when he questioned what have I done for him lately. It was wrong. I was wrong. Apologies were said but he had made up his mind. He didn’t want to be in the relationship no more. He was “taird” of me. In disbelief I asked him was he sure. He was sure all right. I would not know till months later he had been sure for a long time and maybe he just pitched me the biggest favor ever. He was confused yet made up his mind I wasn’t the woman for him. So with that I fell into something of a depression and a determination never to be that stupid girl again. The one who never would hurt this man and put 100% into a man who just cheated on me and dragged me threw his confused ways all of our relationship. The lies and the risk involved dealing with someone like him I didn’t see until after the relationship. Sure it was good times but damn he did so much to me. I walked away from the mic and would spend countless hours in my room sleep. Waiting to go to work again. That’s all I looked forward to. My friends at the post office. When you cater to someone most of your life and never make time to have a life outside your significant other its hard to bounce back.

So I took the stage Aug. 18th with a determination to excel. To express my feelings like I need to when I write. This situation weighed on me for so long, that I can not be the carrier of someone else any longer. I am a good person and I put my all into something that was false. So getting on that stage showed me all that needs to matter is me right now and getting this music and school right.. Yes im writing a book… peep video for a look into how it will be promoted.

My Bad Lover, I was being Stupid

My bad I was being stupid..
Stood by your side when I was so clueless
Wasn’t too bright
Blinded by ya so called light
I fell off and never regained my LIFE
Boy I gave u my all and with that I lost sight
Lost my grip on the mic
Lost my flight
Once a cheater, always a cheater
Liar, deceiver, actor playing lead role
A mental abuse
You was the beater
Feeder to my sexual desire
But lacked love and all it appliances
I was your front
Your trophy you hide behind
So nobody a kno the secrets they find
Its unfortunate
I would never hurt you or provoke u to cry
But you loved 2 do that me
What crazy shit I find
Laying in the jungle of lies
Disgusting and you wanting something I could never produce
I drive myself insane with the poison you feed me wit forbidden fruit
But I wish you the best as I close this chapter of mine
Close that angle in my mind
Yes this is the final good-bye
Ive said it too many times
But this here feels so sincerer
I don’t love you no more that is so FUCKIN clear
Clearer then I never thought it could
Should a left years ago when it was the 1st time
KNOCK ON WOOD
Who got the short stick
Me myself and I
For being that dumb chick

It all breaks its too late, I feel hate.. but I can take partial blame
Never give second chances to dancing flames..