Her Baby Died

Her baby died on a Saturday afternoon..
her heart cried but no emotion ran high on the outside
He told her he didn’t want the baby from her, yet he didn’t mind a kid...
She was a high risk pregnancy, she wanted it to live.
Excited by the idea, but torn from a past love.
He was a heartless soul who time after time smashed her.
She changed her number and hope later they can be friends but it made em angry
He never be the same again
So when she told him the news he was for the responsibility
He questioned her though he been the only one in, he took her virginity
He doubted her truthful though he was the one full of lies..
he didn’t want to talk to her, he couldn’t look her in the eyes..
He called her crazy, he spit on her name, he didn’t care for her
He never be the same
Driving her in pain she spit words of acid at his ear
She missed him but couldn’t say sweet things to make him appear..
Her fear trying to live without him and he not wanting to be a father...
So when he said he didn’t want the child by her, it drowned her in water..
All good some weeks ago, he moved in for the slaughter...
Manipulation of the mind, pinned her so behind, she was discouraged by his reply
Truth be told love is cold, left her with no comfort or check up so he would never know.
She lost her baby on a Saturday..
Alone now hoping for better days..
And where is he?
With a new person he celebrates..

REFRESH (dedicated to MBW)

REFRESH, RESET, SEE THE WORLD…
DEPRESSED NO MORE COMPRESS NO MORE A LITTLE GIRL
HIGH STEP IM BLESSED I SEE A NEW CURVE
FOCUS IN HIGH DEF
SO HARD I HAD TO LEARN
LOVE SELF LOVE LIFE
GIVING MYSELF WHAT I DESERVE
TIME TICKS I GET THE BEST OF EVERY MINUTE
I WISH THINGS WERE A BIT DIFFERENT
BUT THE PRESENT IS WHAT’S PRESENTED
NO NEED TO BACKTRACK I STEPPED THAT TOO MUCH
I’VE SAID THINGS I’VE SHOULDN’T AND FUCKED UP
BUT CANT CHANGE THOSE THINGS ALL I CAN DO IS BE HERE NOW
SEE CLEAR NOW…
DO U SEE WHO I’AM NOW?
WANT THE BEST FOR YOU THAT A NEVER CHANGE
WANT THE BEST FOR ME SELF LOVE IS THE BIGGEST THING
THINGS A NEVER BE THE SAME, BUT ITS A NEW LIFETIME..
OUR MOVIE WAS SCRIPT COULD BE ON LIFETIME.
BUT HAPPY ENDINGS I JUST WONT HAVE WITH YOU.
PAINTING A NEW BEGINNING REFRESH AND BRAND NEW
PAST REMINDS ME ALL THE TIME, CANT GO NO WHERE WITHOUT THINKING BOUT U
BUT IM HERE NOW CLEAR NOW, WAVES CLEAR, SAILING WHILE THE SKY IS BLUE
LEARN LIVE, A GROWTH AND I CAN STILL THANK U..
BUT I THANK MYSELF 4 BEING WHAT U NEVER THOUGHT I DO
REFRESH SMILES SHAPE AND NOW ITS NOT SO BAD
PUT INTO A DOOR LOCKED DELETE AND FORGOT WHAT HAS MADE ME MAD
NEW CLASS OF MY OWN, FEELING GOOD AS I HOPE IT GETS BETTER FOR US BOTH!
BUT FINALLY IN A SUMMERY CONGRATULATIONS I’VE MOVED ON!!

This is dedicated to a friend MBW and tho he never see it.. made me smile the face I can speak this way and feel so strong about it. All love. Kisses till next time

down to the wire, i be there

Make Me Smile

I don't want to crack a smile.
I been through somethings...
But mama always say there is clear skies after a rain..
After my storm..
My tears had flood my sight..
The waves were big and so i lost sight..
But clear sailing ahead.. the breeze ease me..
And when i know you are around a smile comes so easy..
I see me.. Happy and beginning to breathe freely.
I toast to the heavens, how could i not see the blessings you feed me..?
The pieces fell apart but the recovery is on paste.
I gotta give love to you and all the time you put in to curve my face!
Make me smile, geek, laugh without no hesitate.
let this lead somewhere
let you stay apart of me.

Love Suicide...

What a beautiful world little girls and boys!
I’m sure things weren’t suppose to turn out the way it did. I’m so positive that my mind didn’t see the things as they lived. And as I should.. I walk away with the coldest feeling.
So exhausted of caring that I turned the other cheek
With so much on the table, I just was not able to accept friendship as our only destination
In this moment in time the only choices I have is to live without you in the current equation.
I can’t live like this..
depressed, compressed, in a bubble I express, in the sheets you undress, on your dick is climbing numbers and I can not be just a number…
I leave with only wonder, best wishes, tip my hat and give deuces.
Open my heart up every time but you just look at me like I’m stupid
While you dip and doodle, I remain chained to you getting brutal whip lashes
from the heartless branches you pass.. oh every time I just wish I could just laugh.
Gashed open heart and I’m just bleeding. The shit you do is so misleading, so believing, I EVEN thought for a second you loved me. Maybe it was not a front maybe it was something temporary in your mind
But i..
Want to love.
Have a family and build my trust up to give a fuck one day..
Some day, some how it a all be far for me and you.
One day I will be all I should been for me and you.
You and I.
Trapped into a love suicide.
But I boys and girls .. I’m the one who dies while he lives..
Mistakes were not 100% his..
What a wonderful world..
What a beautiful cold world..

Artist Jinxxx Speaks On 2010 & 2011 MEN and ADVICE

So Ive decided to do a video blog on what i been going threw and the changes and all wanta see how those work out.. check it out and tell me what u think via email or bottom of the page!! thank u! Just talking about men, my music and a lil advice to some of my ladies out there.

Better Run Run by KING HAMMER-- Jinxxx Thoughts

Everybody that knows me know that I am a hip-hop fan first before I was a artist. I came across the diss that HAMMER put out on Jay-Z and couldn't help but be mad. Hammer has been away from the game for a very long time. So what has sparked this beef or diss I shall say is it what Jay said in one of his songs..

"I lost 30 mil so I spent another 30.
'Cuz unlike Hammer 30 million can't hurt me

Or is it the fact Jay-Z name has come up millions of times when speaking about ties with the devil??
The video portrays that is the case.
But I'm mad because that is not a good way to attack the subject.
Well i could be wrong but don't try to make a comeback off a diss. Make a come back off of good music and records first. I'm not a big Jay-Z fan but I know he got skills. And he not going to pay attention to this video. Dont get me wrong Hammer had skills in his own time but this was not a good way to attack the subject of if an artist is into the devil.
These are my thoughts.
What are yours? comment below and say whatever u like. thanks for reading

Through Wit Ur Shit

I'm so through with you..
Life.. you seem to make fights
U seem to push the life outta my life
I don't understand how joy and hurt can come from you
i don't understand why i run from the truth
U are nothing good
Nothing that a ever be right
Ur broken in the dark wit a small flashlight
and I'm
just lost..
I'm just a cause for your sickness to get worst
I thought that i was helping at first
But this CANT work
this will not
i keep feeding myself pain when it can stop
God says their is room to forgive but he never said its room to stick around
Gut says its really time to exit now
I liked it better when u were inches away
Hours from my brain
Blocked and in a door
Ignored by my soul
Fueled by hate i let you go
but Love is a mothafucker that bitch can re-grow
planted seeds look at me.. it spouts in the snow
but I'm serious now
I'm ready to let go.
ready to believe in myself ready to know something new
Something that is true bright and stands out
Clean and glistens for me to wear when all weather out
Tears touch my cheeks... chic...
i wish to express smiles that march with fleets
that show on sleeves
that is confident with so much belief
I'm through with you. I locked the door blew up the room
No more mentions in conversations
No more wishing for different situations
No more as if u never existed
you never EXISTED
U WILL NOT EXIST
Be Gone.. I'm through with your shit