JUST YESTERDAY it seems me and my people Cash and Lavar was headed up Salisbury, MD to make music. Those were the days I had just started my company B.ALIVE. Everyone couldn’t come to my homegirl Shonte A.K.A dutch house to make music but us three would go. Kick it and talk, geek and make hot records together. We all are different places in our life now. Cash and dutch are members of the company still but just associated because of distance and mindset but I look at em as distant cousins that are still fam and Lavar a.k.a Conscious has been out of b.alive for sometime and have joined other groups but we still civil. I say that little bit to say my my has time passed. That was about four years ago.
When I sometimes sit back and think about how fast time is passing that shit fucking scares me. 7 yr relationship ended this year and FUCK where did the time go? Before I pressed delete on the last visual memories I had on the relationship I read the caption anniversary 22 Dec. 4years!!! DELETE! Next picture 6yrs next week, DAMNNN !! Delete..
If only it was that simple to delete memories like the computer does.
Wasted time and wasted energy.. sometimes to do what necessarily in life?
I been waiting on other people a lot of my years for something. Shit I blink and im 22yrs old.
If only it was that simple to delete memories like the computer does.
Wasted time and wasted energy.. sometimes to do what necessarily in life?
I been waiting on other people a lot of my years for something. Shit I blink and im 22yrs old.
Just yesterday I was crying my eyes out at graduation cause I thought I loose my high school sweet heart. Fuck 5 years ago. Shit flash back 3years ago quit school to focus on music cause I couldn’t do both, damn fast forward im here back in school when my generation (most of em) walked across the stage this year. My mind wonders. I get fustrated at the shit that ive done in the past but I cant change it. I cant reverse age and fucking change shit about where iam now.
I point blame. Gather hate in my chest because some shit I feel ive done has side tracked me.
What happened to miss independent? Miss wait on no man? Lmao DIED !! 3years ago. Waitied on a house. To be married. To have kids. To chase dreams. To graduate. To get mine. And I can honestly say the cast of love, distraction and self battles are to blame.
FUCK U A.D.D (Attention Deficit Disorder)
Fuck u Love
Fuck u Ave. (myself)
Lmao just kidding. These things are stepping stones… part of me! And tho I want to yell it so badly and be mad so bad at the decisions and wasted time I have made I can only look forward. I been making some mistakes lately. Slipping from my mountain of hurt I been climbing. But it just dawned on me……
Do I want to wait another second, minute, hour, day, YEAR worried about what I don’t have verses what can come to me?
FUCK NO!
So I revist those days and trips I sat wit my x-boyfriend laughing at the dog and looking at each other eyes and watching him sleep this morning
And I revisit trips seeing my friends, recording good music and havin a good time on the ride up to see Dutch this morning teaching myself a lesson…
They are memories. They are things I cant get back and redo. Its over. Its over and its not now. The time I have now is what I must live. Time to just let it be what it is and do what I must do for my future. My goals. Stick to the plan..
I point blame. Gather hate in my chest because some shit I feel ive done has side tracked me.
What happened to miss independent? Miss wait on no man? Lmao DIED !! 3years ago. Waitied on a house. To be married. To have kids. To chase dreams. To graduate. To get mine. And I can honestly say the cast of love, distraction and self battles are to blame.
FUCK U A.D.D (Attention Deficit Disorder)
Fuck u Love
Fuck u Ave. (myself)
Lmao just kidding. These things are stepping stones… part of me! And tho I want to yell it so badly and be mad so bad at the decisions and wasted time I have made I can only look forward. I been making some mistakes lately. Slipping from my mountain of hurt I been climbing. But it just dawned on me……
Do I want to wait another second, minute, hour, day, YEAR worried about what I don’t have verses what can come to me?
FUCK NO!
So I revist those days and trips I sat wit my x-boyfriend laughing at the dog and looking at each other eyes and watching him sleep this morning
And I revisit trips seeing my friends, recording good music and havin a good time on the ride up to see Dutch this morning teaching myself a lesson…
They are memories. They are things I cant get back and redo. Its over. Its over and its not now. The time I have now is what I must live. Time to just let it be what it is and do what I must do for my future. My goals. Stick to the plan..
Let it go..
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